Just sitting in the airport crying...don't worry about it.

I have pretty much been in denial about actually leaving. It wasn’t until I went into my room to get my luggage that it actually hit me. And it was pretty much all over from there. I haven’t cried that hard in a long time. And now, here I am in the Sydney Airport, waiting for my flight to depart the country. I don’t know when or how I will get back to Newcastle, but I will. I have to come back and pick up the pieces of my heart. Leaving Lewis House was a lot harder than I thought it would be. How the heck is it possible that in just two months, I have become so attached to the people at YWAM Newcastle? Why is Australia so freaking beautiful that I never want to leave?

As I sat in the Happy Cabby on the way down to Sydney, playing spotto with myself to pass the time and keep me from crying, I realized the irony of the full circle I have come in throughout the past two months. I remember the moment I left my parents at the airport in Grand Rapids nine and a half weeks ago. I was terrified out of my mind – sick to my stomach and fighting back tears all day. I had never been on a plane by myself or for longer than a 4 hour flight, and I had never been away from West Michigan for longer than about a week. And on top of that, I had no idea what to expect of mission building at YWAM Newcastle. I was telling myself that it was only two months and I’d be back before I know it. I just jumped in blind with a whole lot of faith that God was going to make this an adventure I would never forget, and if not…it would be a good learning experience. But I had no idea. This morning, I gave my last hugs and said my last goodbyes to some of the most amazing people I’ll ever know. And this time, I didn’t even try to hide my tears – wasn’t actually possible. Now, I’m devastated to be going home.

It’s amazing how God arranges things in life. And sometimes confusing. Part of me really wishes I was done with school and could just stay in Australia and do a DTS and go on staff then take it from there. But I know that God has some amazing plans for me at Grand Valley, and having a degree in Nonprofit Administration is only going to be an advantage to me and whoever I’m working for in my future endeavors. I considered this trip somewhat of an experiment – a dip in the pond of overseas missions and full-time ministry and travelling the world. And my hypothesis has been undoubtedly confirmed. I have been stretched outside my comfort zone in so many ways, and now I feel ready to take on the world! So, I’m probably going to do that.

Euroquest next summer?...sounds good to me.

- Ray