Let the notes I choose be your favorite tune...

And the countdown continues. I'm in the home stretch...17 days before I make my voyage across the Pacific Ocean. My packing list is ever-growing and my anxiety is ever-rising. Whoever came up the 50 lb weight limit thing...you are not a friend of mine. And if my guitar doesn't make it to Newcastle safe and sound, I will most likely react in a manner similar to a child whose dog just got ran over by a car. I also had a dream last night about a plane crash...bad omen? Sure hope not.

Wednesday night, I spoke at the Campus Ministry summer gathering about patience, a very appropriate topic for the current state of my life. I have about nine months invested into the planning process for this trip, and all of the waiting I have had to do has been less than easy for an impatient person such as myself.

Psalm 119:105 (and Amy Grant) say that God's word is a "lamp unto my feet." A lamp for our feet...nothing more. There is a reason that God only gives us a little insight into our near future and doesn't lay out the entire blueprint for our lives. Imagine if we knew every detail of God's plan for our lives. We would lose all trust in God because we wouldn't need it. One of the passages that stuck with me the most after my second read through Crazy Love by Francis Chan, a book that should be required for life, brings up a very valid and hard-to-swallow point: "We say things like, ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,’ and ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart.’ Then we live and plan like we don’t believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn’t come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God’s fidelity to His promises."

Patience = Trust. And trust is not an easy thing for me. I like to be in control, and I like to plan. My motto for life, a verse that I have to remind myself of everyday, comes from Proverbs 3:5 - 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. 

Impatience and lack of trust is where worry, stress, and anxiety about things that you can't change anyway come in. Another passage that is hanging on my mirror, staring me down each morning as I get ready for my day comes from the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 6:25-34 says: 

  

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 

Worrying is useless. God is trustworthy, and his plans are ALWAYS good! We all know the always appropriate words of wisdom from Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." You may think that you know what you need - money, status, a job, a significant other - but maybe those things aren't good for you. James 1:17 tells us that "Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father." Only good things come from God, even if they don't seem good in our limited, self-centered minds. 

Genesis 40-41 tells the story of how Joseph, who was already down on his luck after being sold by his brothers and ending up in prison and whatnot, interprets the dreams of the cupbearer and the baker while in prison. The cupbearer ends up getting freed from prison...and completely forgets about Joseph's help. Joseph sits in prison for two full years before the light bulb goes off in the cupbearer's head, and he remembers Joseph's mad dream-interpreting skills. He recommends Joseph to Pharaoh, who is conveniently in need of some dream interpreting, and long story short, Joseph ends up ruling Egypt. 

Patience pays off...you might just end up becoming the ruler of Egypt...I hear they need one of those.  

God always pulls through. Don't live your life so that "just in case" God doesn't come through, you'll be fine anyway. Put all of your trust in God, and be patient knowing that it is going to pay off one way or another. 

I really have no idea what I will be getting myself into when I walk into the Gerald R. Ford International Airport on June 6, but I know one thing. God will already be in Aussie Land, preparing the way.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Here's to 17 more days of waiting...what the heck is America going to do without me!?

- (Sting) Ray

Let the words I say profess my love...

In exactly 3 weeks, I will be departing these here Grand Rapids for the magical Land Down Under. It took many grand schemes and a lot of planning to settle on this adventure, and now there is nothing left to do but wait in eager anticipation. I really don't know much about where I'm going or what I'll be doing, and those of you who know me well know that this is a real struggle for me. But that's all part of the adventure. I went back and forth between many of the endless options I came up with for this summer for quite awhile. After spending all of last summer in Allendale, I knew that I needed to get away...as far away as possible. And I have always had a random fascination with Australia...it's my place. You know, that one place that you're just dying to visit, someway somehow. 

I looked into studying abroad through Grand Valley, and it turns out there was a 5-week Public Administration (that's my major) trip to Australia (that's my place) last summer. Duh! But God oh-so-abruptly reminded me, once again, that He is, in fact, in control, and my plan is useless. Luckily for me, God's plan is always better. The Australia trip was changed to a London trip for summer 2011. As much as I would love to go to Europe or on any of the other study abroad trips, nothing stood out to me, and through a really random series of events that only God could orchestrate, I landed on this idea - Mission Building for YWAM in the one and only - Australia!

For those of you that are unfamiliar with the awesomeness that is YWAM, let me let Wikipedia explain:

Youth With A Mission (YWAM, generally pronounced as "y-wam") is an international, inter-denominational, non-profit Christian missionary organization. Founded by Loren Cunningham in 1960, YWAM's stated purpose is to "know God and to make Him known." In the nearly 50 years since its inception, YWAM's activities have expanded from youth-focused short term evangelistic missionary journeys to include educational training, church planting, business as mission, and relief and development services. Today, YWAM involves people of every age group. YWAM now includes people from over 150 countries and a large number of Christian denominations, with over half of the organization's staff coming from "non-western" countries. YWAM currently has over 16,049 full-time volunteer workers in nearly 1,100 operating locations in 171 nations and trains 25,000 short-term missions volunteers annually.

Like I said...awesomeness.

There are quite a few YWAM bases in Australia, but I kept coming back to the Newcastle base for a few obvious reasons. They have a huge youth group for Newcastle kids on Saturdays, which includes a music team. They are about 10 minutes from the beach. All of my food and housing is provided in exchange for my volunteer work.

Kids, music, beach, and about a third of the cost of study abroad for almost twice the length of time. Yes, please.

I didn't want to jump into any commitments, like I so often do, so I waited and prayed about it. Little things kept falling into place, and I felt more and more sure that this is how I wanted to spend my summer. But the moment that I absolutely knew that this was what I was supposed to do was the moment I realized that I am completely terrified to actually do it. That's when I knew that this was more than a vacation or another selfish way to blow my money. Don't get me wrong, this isn't exactly a noble, selfless sacrifice...I'm spending my summer in this place:

But I am flying across the world by myself to a foreign place, and I don't really know where I'm going or what I'll be doing. I have no other choice than to put all of my faith and trust in God and just watch His plan unfold. I want to go on this trip because I want to be completely removed from my comfortable, familiar environment. I want to grow closer to God and mature in my faith. I want to develop my relationship with God in a new place, a new community. I want to be taken outside of my comfort zone and walk hand in hand with God in everything that I do because His hand is the only one that I know I can trust. I want to be scared. I want to be stretched. I want to grow. I want to experience the beauty of God's creation in a different culture and a different environment. And I want to have fun and build irreplaceable, Christ-centered relationships. I want to have an experience that will change me as a person, and I don't doubt that will happen regardless of how this trip turns out.

Most of all, I want what God wants. And as much as I have tried to figure out exactly what that is, I will never know until I just let it happen. So this is me...letting it happen. I have given up on planning and predicting and hoping and wishing. Here's to giving it all up to God...watch out Australia, here I come!

P.S. A few words of wisdom from the music that warms my soul:

"I'll never second guess the little voice I heard. It's just a whisper that sounded like a scream. I ain't never felt so free!" - Valley of Tomorrow, Needtobreathe

-Ray (of Sunshine)