As we go on, we remember all the times we've shared together.

This semester has been an emotional roller coaster, to say the least, and God has taught me a lot of hard lessons that I wasn't looking to be educated on. But now here I am, just a couple weeks away from the end of my undergraduate college career forever, and I finally feel like things are falling into place. I feel peace, excitement, and comfort about what is next.

I started the semester feeling lost, lonely, distant from God, and grieving the loss of my perfect community that dissolved after many of my best friends picked up their diplomas last Spring and peaced out. This evolved into the pure exhaustion and burnout of balancing a stressful job, full load of classes, time-consuming internship, and new role as a leader at my church's youth group. After several ugly breakdowns, I found myself struggling between the guilt of shedding some of my commitments and my relentless dedication to responsibility and follow-through.

Amidst all of the emotional turmoil and exhaustion of just trying to keep up with my life, the clock has been ticking towards graduation. I took a whole class about how to score a job and have been on a search & apply frenzy all semester.

Then, I got engaged. So there goes all my focus for school and work and anything else not directly related to my wedding.

It has been an up and down and all around few months, but I am clawing my way through the last days before graduation with a few things that I didn't have in August. And now that you know all of the crappy things about this semester, let me brighten your mood a bit and tell you the positive things about this semester :)

Silent Retreat
I went on a retreat with the Campus Ministry staff and interns earlier this Fall in the middle of nowhere in Three Rivers, MI. It was a silent retreat. No talking - even during meals. I went into it very skeptical, with little hope, and wishing it would get done quickly. But turns out that taking time to be silent and separate myself from distractions was just what I needed to finally connect with God after months of struggling to do so. God taught me a lot about the meaning of pride and humility in my life. I learned that there is humility in saying no and knowing when to walk away. I learned that "pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom" (Proverbs 11:2). I also learned that God was using this season in my life to teach me perseverance and contentment - that I was supposed to be overwhelmed and overcommitted, and I was supposed to be learning from it.

I came home from the retreat feeling rejuvenated, encouraged, and confident knowing that I was following God's plan and that as long as I continue to do that, he'll have my back. Needless to say, I have started to regularly incorporate silence into my life, and it has been really awesome.

Getting Engaged!
I could say a lot of things about how blessed I am by my relationship with Lance, and how excited I am to spend the rest of my life with him, but I'll spare you the cyber PDA and tell you about something that surprised me about getting engaged. The proposal itself was very personal, and I absolutely loved it, and I felt so loved by it. But turns out the moment you let the world know that he put a ring on it, it becomes a way bigger thing than just the two of you. Lance and I were showered with congratulations and phone calls and Facebook comments...many from our families and close friends. But we also heard from people we have seen or heard from in years. And people were expressing how happy and excited our engagement made them. We were overwhelmed by the love and support of the people in our lives, past and present, and it was really cool to see how our relationship has blessed other people. Getting engaged is pretty cool. And now, I get to get married to my bestest friend, so that's really cool.

New Job, New Town
Now, what you've all been waiting for! What's next? As previously mentioned, I have been applying to jobs like crazy all semester. And let me tell you how many interviews I've had. ZERO! I have had absolutely no luck, and a couple weeks ago, I was starting to get very nervous that I was going to graduate up a creek without a paddle or a dime to pay for my upcoming wedding. But somewhat out of the blue, a conversation in passing that Lance had with the director of Portage Lake Covenant Bible Camp (the camp Lance has been going to and working at for much of his life) led to a meeting between the two of us and the camp's associate director about going up to work there next semester. PLCBC is currently short-staffed and desperately in need of more hands on deck. Lance's experience at camp and my impending graduation with a Nonprofit Administration degree made us perfect candidates to fill the need until another full-time staff member is hired in the Spring.

We were given about a week and a half to decide whether or not we wanted to commit to moving up to Onekama, MI in January to work at PLCBC for about 5 months before we get hitched. And let me tell you...it was not an easy decision. There are many reasons to stay and many reasons to go. I have been so hopeful that God would provide a fantastic, perfect job for me in GR. But turns out he ended up providing a fantastic, perfect job for me in Manistee. This clip from the Pursuit of Happyness was very helpful for me in making this decision:

In the end, Lance and I realized that there is no doubt God is calling us to take these camp positions. So, we are confident and excited about our decision to go. We'll be moving up to Onekama (about 2 hours north of GR, just north of Manistee) in January and will be there until probably a couple weeks before our wedding.

So there it is. After a crazy, stressful, challenging semester, I am cruising through my last couple weeks of school with an awesome job to look forward to on the other side. And I am thankful that God comes through, even when his answers are not the ones I am hoping for or expecting.

-the future Mrs. Beaudry

525,600 Minutes

525,600 minutes...actually, it has been 527,040 minutes since this year was a leap year. It has been exactly one year today since I left the United States for my greatest adventure yet...9 1/2 weeks in Australia! It is so crazy to think that it has been a year.

It's so interesting to look back on some of my thoughts from one year ago today http://songintheharvest.blogspot.com/2011/06/father-let-my-heart-be-after-you.html. I had no idea what I was in for. 

Part of me feels like there is no way it has been that long. It's pretty safe to say that I talk about Australia at least everyday. I continue to learn life lessons from that trip even a year later by reflecting on the things I did, people I met, and experiences I had. But even though my summer in Australia has become an intrinsic part of who I am, a lot has happened in the past year. Even though there was a time that I seriously considered not coming home from Australia, I am very glad I did. I have been shaped by a lot of relationships and experiences this year that I wouldn't give up for anything. But those experiences were heavily influenced by the learning and growing that happened in Australia. Looking back on the way that God has organized my life in the past year is just another piece of undeniable evidence that God has a perfect plan for everything.

So I guess I just want to say this. Traveling is probably the most important and beneficial thing a person can do in their life. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and dream big and do something that seems a little risky and/or crazy. And if God is whispering something in your ear...turn up the volume. And do it!

And thank you to everyone that made my experience in Newcastle an amazing one. I will be back. Someway somehow.

-Ray

An ode to Youth Street. 

(Yeah, I'm in there...wanna play Where's Rayanne?)

Nobody said it was gonna be easy.

So, after blogging about all the changes that were about to happen, I deemed it appropriate to blog about how it all really went down. Basically, the last couple weeks have been a chaotic, stressful nightmare. Change is hard. But things have to get worse before they can get better - that's just the way life goes.

I moved out of my parents' house. The actual moving process was long and inconvenient and annoying. Sorting out utilities and conquering a battle with AT&T has been unnecessarily stressful. And I am very broke. But now, I am back on my own again, living 2 feet away from my best friend and much more than 2 feet away from my parents, within a reasonable driving distance from anywhere I need to go...and I am loving it!

I got a new job. It has been overwhelming and stressful and has made me doubt my abilities and passions and wonder why I searched for a new job when I already had a good one. But I get to hang out with some pretty cool (and very naughty) kids everyday that come from crappy home lives and are desperate for everything that I hope to give them. I have a pretty amazing opportunity at Team 21 to not only grow and develop my skills but to have a huge impact on some kids' lives. People don't just get part-time jobs like this everyday.

With all the change happening in and around me, I have come to the conclusion that human beings are naturally resistant to change and chronically desiring instant gratification. Even for a person like me that loves change and is always seeking it out even when it is unnecessary, actually getting through the transition and making the adjustment is like pulling teeth. And the thing that makes it suck so much is that we live in a society that provides us with anything we want right now! So, we assume that change is going to be the same...we will instantly get from crappy A to far better B without any tears in between.

Think of the Israelites: Moses busted his butt to get these guys of out hundreds of years of slavery in Egypt, and God did some crazy stuff to make it happen. Then they spend the next 40 years repeatedly rebelling (sounds like my 4th graders at Team 21) against God and whining about how they wish they would have just stayed in Egypt. Seriously? God is taking you to the freaking Promised Land! Just suck it up and get there...yet here I am, whining about the stresses of moving and woes of transitioning into a new job when they have been the things I've been looking forward to, my "promised land," for months.

So, what I'm trying to say here is that change isn't easy. It sucks. It's hard. Crying is the only thing that makes it bearable sometimes. But in the end, it is so worth it! So, if you are lost in transition right now and whining about the desert and how much you miss being a slave...just know that the promised land is on the other side. And the 40 years will totally be worth it once you get there. Don't be afraid of change because of the land in between.

If you never leave home, never let go, you'll never make it to the great unknown

Change is a bittersweet thing. And in my current stage of life, it is coming rapidly and abundantly. And all of these changes are good! In fact, they're great! They're EXCITING! But nonetheless, they are bittersweet.

It is remarkable how many of my closest friends are graduating and/or getting married and/or moving away. Almost ALL of them fit into at least one of these categories! When the heck did everyone decide to grow up without me!? But I won't be left behind for too long because I just applied for graduation and will be done with my undergraduate career in just over 8 months! I am also moving in less than a month, and I got a new job working with at-risk elementary school kids in Wyoming!

My head is spinning just from typing that. Don't get me wrong...I really am pumped for all of these things. Even though my selfishness wants to keep my best friends right by my side forever, I have to embrace the fact that God has a different plan for all of us. I am fully confident that God is going to use my friends to show this world what's up, and I can't wait to share in that with them. And for those going out to all the ends of the earth, Facebook will keep us together forever :) As far as moving, my budget will be kicking into high gear so I can afford rent and utilities, but I am pretty excited to be an adult again. And as much as I am ready to move on from the Johnson Center, I'm leaving behind two years of friends and comfort. I am beyond excited to be starting a job that I almost couldn't design to be more perfect, but it will be a disorienting transition nonetheless.

Looking back on some of my blogs from last summer, I know that change is a difficult, awesome, terrifying, and important thing. I picked up my life to head to Australia for two months last June with no idea of what God had in store for me. I was excited...and scared. And it ended up being one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Then two months later, I had to leave it all behind and come back to the harsh realities of college (no sleep, questionable eating patterns, constant stress, no rest, moving back in with my parents, etc.). I was happy...and mad. I thought I knew what I was getting myself back into, but this year has proved to be far more amazing than I could have planned for.

Now, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I know what's next, but I don't have any idea what it will be like. I am sad to move on...but even more excited. Change is something that I love (I get bored easily). But it's always bittersweet. Fortunately, I know from experience that what comes next is always better than what I expect. God has a way of pleasantly surprising my plans, and the surprises always turn out to be the things I value most.

So, here's to the next season of my life. Bring it on, God!

-Ray

"All of my life, in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship!" - Desert Song